Whew y’all! Somehow my anxiety did not stop me from going to the appointment for the EGD that I talked about in my last blog post, Breaking Down, which you can read here if you haven’t already done so. Anyways… I made it to the EGD and after the ordeal that I went through, I never want to do this again! My medical anxiety was already on hyperdrive. I could barely even breathe by the time they got me checked in. I immediately had to argue with staff about my husband being able to come back with me. Once they knew I have medical anxiety they complied with my request.
When it came time for the IV it took 4 nurses and 5 different tries to get it started. I have never in my life had so much trouble with my veins. I live in Washington State and it’s near freezing temperatures here right now. I have Raynaud’s as well, which apparently affects the veins. Eventually they pulled out the “vein finder” and thank Gods they finally got the IV done.
The procedure itself was great once they put me to sleep. The only part that I remember was waking up hyperventilating and not knowing where I was. The doctor stopped by afterwards to chat about the procedure and to let me know that he took several biopsies. He said that there is, in fact, a bit of inflammation in my esophagus but we won’t know more until the biopsies come back in a few days. He mentioned that he suspects eosinophilic esophagitis, but I have no clue what that is at this point. Every time I turn around they find a new problem or diagnosis. I’m so sick and tired of being sick and tired. The exhaustion is just too much these days and this procedure certainly did not help the flare that has been going strong for two weeks now.
I know I sound like a whiny bitch right now, but the pain and after effects of the procedure are just too much for me to deal with. I have already called my doctor’s office and they assured me that this amount of pain is normal with the number of biopsies that the doctor took. They also dilated my esophagus, which they believe is the culprit of the extra pain. I haven’t been able to eat for days, and with this level of pain there is no relief in sight.
In the days since the procedure, I find myself having flashbacks of the pain caused by so many different nurses trying to get the IV in me. I have had lots of IVs in my day, but never have I felt as traumatized and tormented as I was during this whole ordeal. This certainly will not help the medical anxiety that I struggle so much with. This experience was so bad for me that I want to stop going to doctor’s visits, procedures or anything else medical. It still feels like a bad PTSD episode that just won’t stop. Pray for me y’all. I’m in a bad way right now.