Change of Plans

My day today did not go as planned… at all!  First off, I woke up to snow all over the ground and with Raynaud’s, that has become my most-hated work in the English language.  I absolutely hate seeing snow, because I know it will be a battle to feel my hands and feet for the rest of the day.  On days like this, I bundle up and add extra layers to help keep the warmth in.  There’s not much else that I can really do about it.  Attitude is everything and I’m really trying to keep mine in check these days.

I had an online appointment with my therapist this morning, which I had to cut short to go to my gastroenterologist’s office for a routine vaccine.  Well… I got to the doctor’s office only to find out that the vaccine that I need is expired and they have no others in stock (not even at their other offices).  The gal who had the unfortunate job of  telling me this was afraid to do so.  Poor thing thought that I was going to be ugly with her about it.  Lucky for her, I am a very understanding, compassionate, empathic person.  I felt for her in that situation… standing there with egg on her face not having her crap together.  I get it.  I’ve been there and done that.  No hard feelings.  I left with the utmost gratitude from her and a promise of a phone call once the vaccine is back in stock.

One thing that my autoimmune life has taught me, is that my plans are never guaranteed.  I didn’t plan on being sick so young – but here I am… sick in my 30’s.  I didn’t plan to be disabled or to lose my career that I loved – but it happened.  I’m unable to work and fighting for disability now.  Plans change, life moves on and so will I. With today’s change of plans, I chose joy in the moment.  So now I’m spending the rest of the day with my family.  It happens to be a rare day off for my husband, so I shall treasure that and waste the rest of my day with the one I love.  Positivity wins today.

In this life, nothing is guaranteed.  I’ve learned that much already, just in dealing with my chronic illnesses.  Managing my health has become a full-time job.  It’s overwhelming.  It’s exhausting.  I rarely have a day to myself or a day to spend with my husband.  He works long, crazy hours so I don’t have to and Gods know I appreciate him for that.  

Stay strong autoimmune warriors and loved ones! Love and light now and always!