The Spiral

Just when I thought I had enough doctors, my primary care physician decided that we need to consult with cardiology now.  I developed a set of new symptoms recently and they have become quite the cause for concern.  About a month or two ago, my Fitbit started notifying me that my heart rate was elevated.  I was experiencing worse dizziness than normal but didn’t think too much about it.  I’ve always been a little on the dizzy side, so I didn’t realize it was becoming a problem until one morning I passed out on my way to the bathroom.  My husband rescued me and insisted I see my doctor. 

I immediately made a doctor’s appointment with my primary care physician, whom I absolutely adore.  She did an EKG and enhanced vitals.  My blood pressure was low and my heart rate was high.  After testing and monitoring was done, we adjusted some of my medications in the hopes that that would fix the issue.  After a week or so, my heart rate was still high so it was recommended that I see a cardiologist to see if I have the condition called POTS.  I was less than amused to get this referral as this doctor will be my 14th specialist.  I literally have more doctors than friends and the only events on my calendar are medical appointments.  

My esophageal issues are getting worse and worse.  I’m getting to the point that I can barely even eat anymore.  Everything that I try to eat gets stuck in my throat and causes me to gag and choke.  I’m going in for another EGD or upper endoscopy in April.  Last time I had one done they stretched my esophagus.  Apparently, that needs to be done again.  Cue my medical anxiety!  It doesn’t matter that I’ve had this done twice before –  my anxiety doesn’t care.  

I have a cystoscopy scheduled for the end of this month, followed by bladder instillations.  The cystoscopy will be done in the office without sedation, which has my anxiety through the roof!  The doctor gave me no other option, and I kind of feel bullied into it, but it is very necessary to properly diagnose interstitial cystitis.  This condition has caused me pain for over ten years now, and I would endure just about any test to finally get a diagnosis and some relief.

With everything going on medically, stress in my life has hit an all-time high.  It’s negatively affecting my already bad health.  I’m losing weight faster than I ever have before and I’m not even trying to!  I’ve dropped 4 sizes and 43 pounds in the last month or so.  I can’t eat.  I can’t sleep.  I can’t think.  I can’t function.   I’m trying to get a grasp on everything before it spirals out of control, but I’m afraid it’s already too late.  It’s no secret that I struggle with Bipolar Disorder and that is getting out of control right now, too.  Pray for me y’all… 

Stay strong fellow warriors and friends and family! Love and light now and always!


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