Emotional Overload

4aa8802a-234a-4a55-ab76-05548dcfaadcLike most of the world, I hate COVID-19 and this last month has been so full of COVID-19 crap that I’m about to spill over with it all.  My heart is very sad tonight as I sit here thinking about all that this virus has taken from us lately.  The whole world has been suffering and struggling with this pandemic, and my family has not been spared the heartache.

6a223b9f-3daf-4678-8fa1-1b86c6154750I’ve got a friend who is more like part of my extended family, and she has suffered the greatest loss that I have personally seen (as far as COVID-19 is concerned).  Hers is a bit of a story, and I don’t want to break confidentiality and tell y’all more than I should.  Anyways, this sweet, loving, compassionate human being had been struggling while her husband was in the hospital for a surgery unrelated to the virus.  Well, my friend’s mom caught COVID-19 and unfortunately passed away due to complications from it.  We were all devastated at this news as my entire family has a very deep history with Miss Helen and she was well-loved and adored by many of us.  May she rest in peace now and always!

1719a90f-98ce-4928-9bfc-d79269b18ce7As if the loss of her mother wasn’t enough, my sweet friend still could not be reunited with her hubby who was still in the hospital with his surgical recovery, so she had to process the death of her mother without the love of her life there to help her.  To add insult to injury, when her husband was to be released to her to continue the wound care and whatnot, she contracted COVID-19 herself, so her husband had to go to a rehabilitation facility until her isolation period was over.  She finally got him home and it wasn’t very long at all that he contracted the virus.  Well, unfortunately, he lost the battle and succumbed to the virus by way of heart failure.  We all are so very heartbroken for this family having lost so much.  I sit and cry every time I think about my friend who has lost so much.  She lost both of her best friends and my heart aches for her.   I just could not imagine having to process to much loss and hurt and to have to do it by yourself.  That’s one of my worst nightmares and this poor girl is living it.  I’m an empath and tend to feel way too much about other people and their feelings and emotions, so this has been very difficult for me just as an outsider.

73311b83-5274-4467-a09f-7d95eb5ff151Also happening in my family right now, I have one cousin on life support.  He got an infection that lead to multiple organ failure.  We’re waiting for all of his children to get there so that they can remove him from life support.  I’m pretty emotional about that, too, which is leading to an emotional overload of sorts for me.  I also have an uncle who has COVID-19 currently and is in the hospital for it.  My emotions are all over the place these last few days and in all honesty, I’m a nervous wreck right now.

4757455f-a870-47b3-8370-44454e879567With everything going on in my family right now, it is certainly no surprise that my flares keep coming and going the way that they are.  First it was an Interstitial Cystitis flare that went for a couple of weeks.  Then it was my Scleroderma flaring up (I’m still dealing with that one) and causing a lot of Raynaud’s attacks, which is where I get cold and my fingers lose all feeling and color as the blood retreats to help warm my core.  My pain levels have been pretty high lately, too, but that’s to be expected with my conditions.  I suffer with constant, chronic pain every moment of every day to varying degrees, but the more stressed or emotional I become, the worse the pain gets.  It’s a never-ending battle in my autoimmune life.

3ad265cc-7ab7-4cf6-97d5-69911e662416In the midst of all of the chaos in my life, my amazing Bestie kidnapped me away for the day, yesterday, and we had a pretty nice afternoon out and about together.  We laughed, we joked, we shopped and we just had an amazing time and for a few minutes I got to forget about all of the stress and strife in my life.  I think it’s important to have time away from it all once in a while.  I needed to recharge my spiritual batteries, so to say.  So… huge shoutout to my awesome Bestie for saving me from myself once again!

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